Sin
A minister was delivering a sermon on sin. "Is there anyone here who is without SIN?" he shouted, glowering at the congregation.
Embarrassed parishioners stirred nervously in their seats, but no one stood.
Feeling he really had them this time, the preacher said, "Is there anyone here who thinks he or she is PERFECT?"
One small man, seated next to a rather imposing woman, rose nervously to his feet.
"So, Mr Jones, you think YOU are PERFECT?"
"No, sir", the man replied, "I'm just standing for my wife's first husband!"
Quiet
A Sunday school teacher was talking to her young pupils about how they should behave in church.
"Now," she said, "who can tell me why you should be quiet when you are sitting with your parents in church?"
One little girl put up her hand. "Yes Jane, tell everyone why!" said the teacher.
Replied Jane, "Because people are trying to sleep!"
Daughter’s Marriage
A man patted his daughter's hand fondly, and told her, "Your young man told me today he wanted you as a bride, and I gave my consent."
"Oh, Daddy," gushed the daughter, "it's going to be so hard leaving Mummy."
"I understand perfectly, my dear," beamed the man. "You can take her with you.
Bigger
A woman walks into a butcher's shop just before closing time and asks, "Do you have any turkey?" The butcher opens his fridge, takes out his only turkey and puts it on the weighing scales. It weighs six pounds.
The woman looks at the turkey and at the scales and asks, "Do you have one that's a bit bigger than this one, please?" The butcher puts the turkey back into the fridge and then takes it out again, but this time when he puts it on the scales he keeps his thumb on the turkey. The scales now show eight pounds
"That's wonderful," says the woman. "I'll take both of them, please!"
Technical Problem
Technical Support: "I need you to right-click on the desktop."
Customer: "Ok."
Technical Support: "Did you get a pop-up menu?"
Customer: "No."
Technical Support: "Ok. Right click again. Do you see a pop-up menu?"
Customer: "No."
Technical Support: "Ok, sir. Can you tell me what you have done up until this point?"
Customer: "Yes, you told me to write 'click' and I wrote 'click'."
Running To The Bank
A primary school teacher was giving her pupils a lesson in logic. "Now imagine this," she said. "A man is standing up in a boat in the middle of a river, fishing. He loses his balance, falls in, and begins splashing and calling for help. His wife hears the noise, and knowing he can't swim, runs down to the bank. Why do you think she runs to the bank?"
A little girl raised her hand and asked, "Was it to draw out all his savings?"
"Man invented technology, but technology changed man!"
Factory Whistle
"Your workers, they're escaping!" cries the visitor. "You've got to stop them."
"Don't worry, they'll be back," says the American. And indeed, at exactly one o'clock the whistle blows again, and all the workers return from their break.
When the tour is over, the manufacturer turns to his guest and says, "Well, now, which of these machines would you like to order?"
"Forget the machines," says the visitor. "How much do you want for that whistle?"
New Cell Phone
A young man wanted to get his beautiful blonde wife something nice for their first wedding anniversary. So he decided to buy her a cell phone. She is all excited, she loves her phone. He shows her and explains to her all the features on the phone. The next day the blonde goes shopping. Her phone rings and it's her husband. "Hi hun," he says, "how do you like your new phone?" His wife replied, "I just love. It's so small and your voice is clear as a bell, but there's one thing I don't understand though." "What's that, baby?" asks the husband. The blonde replied, "How did you know I was at Wal-Mart?"
Naming Generation:-
The Silent Generation ,people born before 1946;
The Baby Boomers, people born between 1946 and 1959.
Generation X, people born between 1960 and 1979.
Generation Y - people born between 1980 and 1995 .
Why do we call the last one generation Y?
No comments:
Post a Comment