Laughters

Interesting classified advertisements in my Sunday newspapers:

1) Auto Repair Service. Free pick-up and delivery. Try us once, you'll never need to go anywhere again.
2) Our experienced Mom will care for your child. Fenced yard, meals, and smacks included.
3) Dog for sale: Eats anything and is fond of children.
4) Stock up and save. Limit: one.
5) Semi-Annual after Christmas Sale
6) 3 year old teacher needed for pre-school. Experience preferred.
7) Mixing bowl set designed to please a cook with round bottom for efficient beating.
8) Girl wanted to assist magician in cutting off head illusion show. Good benefit and big salary.
9) Dinner special -- Turkey $2.35; Chicken or Beef $2.25; Children only $1.00
10) For sale: antique desk suitable for lady with thick legs and large drawers.
11) Now is your chance to have your ears pierced and get an extra pair to take home, too.
12) For sale. Three canaries of undermined sex.
13) Have several very old dresses from grandmother in beautiful condition.