Sep 26, 2008

Laughters



Don't get discourage when someone said that you are "slow", see what the snail is able to achieve .


Wi-Fi
Recently Consumer Association Penang, Malaysia complained that Wi-Fi, like mobile phones, is an untested technology; CAP believe that the universal use of mobile phones may be storing up medical catastrophes for the future. CAP further stated that Penang state government should not expose Penangites in a soup of electromagnetic radiation (EMR) one billion times stronger than the natural fields in which living cells have developed over the last 3.8 billion years.


The association claimed Penangites are being pushed into accepting a Wi-Fi dominated environment with the recent state decision, it is a grave mistake to see this technology as a craze worth emulating, the Penang state government should place people’s health above other interests. LOL!!




Anal Sex

A prominent Malaysian woman went to her doctor for advice. She told him that her husband had developed a penchant for anal sex. And she was not sure if it was such a good idea. The doctor asked, 'Well do you enjoy it?''Actually, yes, I do in fact.' 'Does it hurt you?' he asked. 'No. I do like it.' 'Well, then,' the doctor continued, 'there's no reason why you shouldn't practice anal sex, if that's what you like, so long as you take care not to get pregnant and do it discretely.' The woman was mystified. 'What? You can get pregnant from anal sex?' 'Of course,' the doctor replied. 'Where do you think all our present politicians came from?



Cooking Woes

Becky prepared a pasta dish for a dinner party she was giving. In her haste, however, she forgot to refrigerate the spaghetti sauce, and it sat on the counter all day. She was worried about spoilage, but it was too late to cook up another batch.


She called the local Poison Control Center and voiced her concern. They advised Becky to boil the sauce again.

That night, the phone rang during dinner, and one of the guests volunteered to answer it. Becky's face dropped as the guest called out, "It's the Poison Control Center. They want to know how the spaghetti sauce turned out."



School Lunch

The children were lined up in the cafeteria of a Catholic elementary school for lunch. At the head of the table was a large pile of apples. The nun made a note, and posted on the apple tray:

"Take only ONE. God is watching."

Moving further along the lunch line, at the other end of the table was a large pile of chocolate chip cookies. A child had written a note, "Take all you want. God is watching the apples



Law Of Nature

Kauffman's Paradox of the Corporation: The less important you are to the corporation, the more your tardiness or absence is noticed.

Murphy's First Law for Wives: If you ask your husband to pick up five items at the store and then you add one more as an afterthought, he will forget two of the first five.

Lerman's Law of Technology: Any technical problem can be overcome given enough time and money.




Midnight Quips

"The other day John McCain appeared on the show 'The View,' and one of the hosts accused McCain of being a liar. Yeah, she may have a point, because McCain started the interview by saying, 'Ladies, you look beautiful.'" --Conan O'Brien


"For some reason, the Secret Service revealed this, that Sarah Palin's Secret Service code name is 'Denali.' Turns out 'Denali' is an old Eskimo name that means 'Dan Quayle.'" --Jay Leno


"Now, of course, we all know that John McCain has said that as governor, Sarah Palin requested no earmarks. It turns out it's almost true. The senator was only off by $453 million [on screen: Gibson outlining Palin's earmark requests, including $2 million to learn more about crab mating habits]." Jon Stewart


"And despite all the animosity in this campaign, you know, John McCain and Joe Biden are actually old friends from the Senate. They've been friends for years. In fact, they go back so far that when they first met, McCain had hair, and Joe Biden didn't." --Jay Leno


"This weekend in New York City, gays and lesbians staged a protest, demanding the right to get married. When he heard this, President Bush said, 'Wait a minute, now gays want to marry lesbians?'" --Conan O'Brien




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