Presidential Election

1) Voters in USA will be guaranteed a "winner" to be their president if the candidates are allowed to kick-boxing their opponent out in round three instead of televised debates.

2) If "integrity" is such an important quality in an elected president, then every democratic country should incorporate "three strike rule" into their debate process. Any dishonest answer to a question will light up the bulb and a third lie not only will trigger a button that release the axe hanging above the presidential candidates and end his career forever, it will also ensure every voter their rights to have an honest man in the office.

New Theory

"Salary Theorem" states that "Engineers and Scientists can never earn as much as Business Executives and Sales People."
This theorem can now be supported by a mathematical equation based on the following two postulates:
1. Knowledge is Power.
2. Time is Money.

As every engineer knows:
Power = Work / Time
Since:
Knowledge = Power
Time = Money
It follows that:
Knowledge = Work/Money.
Solving for Money, we get:
Money = Work / Knowledge.

Thus, as Knowledge approaches zero, Money approaches infinity, regardless of the amount of work done.

Conclusion: The less you know, the more you make.

Accident

There was an engineer, manager and programmer driving down a steep mountain road.
The brakes failed and the car careened down the road out of control.
Half way down the driver managed to stop the car by running it against the embankment narrowing avoiding going over a cliff.
They all got out, shaken by their narrow escape from death, but otherwise unharmed.
The manager said "To fix this problem we need to organize a committee, have meetings, and through a process of continuous improvement, develop a solution."
The engineer said "No that would take too long, and besides that method never worked before. I have my trusty pen knife here and will take apart the brake system, isolate the problem and correct it."
The programmer said "I think you're both wrong! I think we should all push the car back up the hill and see if it happens again."

Thing To Ponder
Why is it that if someone tells you that there are 1 billion stars in the universe you will believe them, but if they tell you a wall has wet paint you will have to touch it to be sure?

If people from Poland are called "Poles," why people from Holland aren’t called "Holes?"

When cheese gets its picture taken, what does it say?

To Catch A Thief
The old adage that "It takes a thief to catch a thief" may indeed be true.
But these days there's a 3rd thief involved pleading the case -- the lawyer.


Hair Loss
Patient: My hair keeps falling out. What can you give me to keep it in?
Doctor: A shoebox.


New Bride
A new bride was a bit embarrassed to be known as a honeymooner. So when she and her husband pulled up to the hotel, she asked him if there was any way that they could make it appear that they had been married a long time. He responded, "Sure. You carry the suitcases!"